what life is to me..

I guess my life is mysterious.. so many things happened in the past that i just want to let go, but still those memories that i always keep hiding in my complicated mind appear in my dreams. I always dream of those things that i try to keep myself apart.. Seems like those things are significant to me. For example, why the hack should i dream about the doctors in RMC when they are not significantly related to me.. i even dream that they are wondering where am i and trying to chase me and question me why i left RMC.. hahaha... i never even speak personally with them.. maybe the meaning of the dream is i want to feel wanted in RMC..feel important and i feel good about myself when i was working there..
and i always dream of my mum.. in my dreams, she is always alive...